Bah - Humbug - the uncelebration of what's wrong with Christmas (VG Lee & Rose Collis)

When: Sunday 15 December
Where: The Hideaway, Streatham
Tickets: From £12.50 in aid of Kid's City

Tucked away behind Streatham High Street, it really is hidden away, The Hideaway. Atmospherically full of  jazz history, but surprisingly modern, the bar was set up with drinks and canapes, and treats for sale.

This special event was MCed by Jackie Nunn, CEO of Kid's City and producer of the event. 

Rose Collis opened with her banjo and stories of gender bending christmases past, with plenty of dramatic dyke-ness in a style not unlike that of "grumpy old women" but more interesting and funnier. For example, did you know that christmas cards were invented by the man who invented the stamp. Capitalism at its best. And over 1.8bn cards are send each year in the UK. 

Then enter VG Lee best dressed in dressing gown, pyjamas, rollers and stroking her (soft toy) pussy. She says it's "therapeutic". 

After a short intro about the benefits of Lemsip Max as an aperitif, and the hilarious scene setting of VG in her living the night before Christmas, and all that is stirring is a log fire as she reads horror stories. At this point we are treated to one of the stories, on of VG's own, and not a horror in the traditional sense of the word but frightening (and humorous) nonetheless.

Followed a question and answer session with Rose, compered by VG, we learned that Rose's special pickled onions are strong indeed but that we are not going to be party to the secret ingredient. We learned that Rose has new books and new shows coming out in the new year.  The Trouser Wearing character will live on.

In Act 2, there is a costume change from VG to going out evening wear, and we learn that to get through the festive season she volunteers at a cat sanctuary every year. Cue plenty of pussy jokes. 

Back to Rose and more Christmas histories, the original celebrity cook books, the beaver annual, and coincidences. 

And finally a stand up set, double bill of VG Lee short stories read by guest reader Claire Summerskill, and a careful warning to wash hands if using deep heat for sensuous massage. 

The end is on a grand finale, a rousing modified version of We wish it could be Christmas everyday" a la banjo.

By Katie

Create - new monthly night for women @ Bar Titania

When: Second Friday of the month, 6.30pm - 12.30am
Where: Bar Titania, Charing Cross Road
Tickets: £5 all night
More info: facebook.com/CreateNight

An open event for women, where all are welcome, "any age, any attire". 

It's happy hour at Bar Titania between 6.30-8.30pm which means two scrumptious cocktails for £10 (although at full price £6.95 there's much to be happy about all night!)

The event is split over the bar's 2 levels, with a dance floor on the ground and DJ decks and sofas on the mezzanine. The music was popular chart however guests were very welcome to choose the tunes and influence the play list. 

Friendly masked "creations" floated about the venue chatting to guests, making sure no one was left on their own, introducing new friends and generally flirting. 

Surprise performances, of which we caught sexy burlesque dancers, kept the night flowing in the dance-floor-shy early stages of the evening.

Look forward to seeing this night establish as a regular monthly Friday event!

By Katie

Bloom in the Dark by Smiling Knife

Rating:
The Smiling Knife trio from London and Brighton, with their own brand of 'indie-folk-pop-noir' have just released second album  Bloom in the Dark, with a launch event at Merton Abbey Mills on December 14.

This is a mature offer from the band, who have clearly found their style, and it shies far away from anything commercial and manufactured.

Bloom in the Dark opens with a short medieval-style chorus hum embodying the theme of the title. It's the kind of album that is best listened to with the lights low, a glass of red in hand and lying elegantly on a chez-lounge while it rains outside.

Sounds of influence filter in and out of the tracks but never dominating the 11 eleven original songs that fit together piece by piece, telling the story of an emergence. 

The drums and classical guitar in Deeply Debbie transport the listener to far away lands, a hint of Cuba or Miami.

The mellow electric of Just for Me channels the old school Clapton, of the sixties, yet sounding current at the same time.

There is a haunting quality to the tracks, exemplified by Travelling through Time and Slowly Slowly Sue, as if they were recorded late into the night after one too many whiskeys and cigarettes - with a richness of experience and wisdom seeping through the melodies, instruments and vocals.

The album wraps up with Magento that could be a love child of Blondie, Sheryl Crow and Chrissie Hynde. Happy times. The final track Supernature is a remix (courtesy of John Jones) , that adds a dark club beat to the soundtrack of the album to finish off the playlist in style.

More info: https://www.facebook.com/SmilingKnife
Artist Profile: http://www.planet-london.com/lgbtartists/2013/smilingknife.html
Buy your copy: 

• Itunes: £7.99 
• Amazon: £7.49

By Katie

Laughing Cows London - seriously funny

Venue: Retro Bar
When: First Thursday of the Month
Tickets: £8/£6
More info: http://www.laughingcowscomedy.co.uk/comedy/London.html

"Oh What a Saga" 

Performers on Thursday 5 December: MC: Maureen Younger, Wendy Wason, Joanne Lau, India Macleod, Jen Brister (headline)

Upstairs at Retro, with a dedicated bar, and fold out seats, Maureen welcomes the audience and is the most gracious host, as well as a cuttingly observant MC. From the Saga crew, to the Hounslow crew, no one was safe from this wit. Maureen also took us on a journey of new jokes, innuendo and Europe, during the introductions.

Laughing Cows was established to raise the profile and give a platform to female comedians who all to often have challenges in getting gigs on the main comedy circuit solely because of their gender. Comedy is still a boys club and we need nights like these to show the world female comedians are just as good as their male counterparts with the added bonus of no misogyny. 

As a result the audience is mostly female as well (but not all) and a very diverse audience it was, straight, gay, old, young and all that's in between. 

Wendy Wason opened the night with an "overshare" style set of hilarious down to earth tales of her life, family and friends. Pushing the envelope of appropriateness with a feminist slant. 

"Scientist" Joanne Lau followed with her take on being a Chinese Canadian white person baby fearer in London rush hour. She put the pacifier right on the baby's shoulder.

India Mcleod deconstucted love and relationships through the comedic lens of her own.

Headliner Jen Brister took the stage last, under the instruction from Maureen to stick to the "bankers" and away from new material... clearly this had not been Brister's game plan. However she rose to the challenge, in part, mixing both, in an on-form rummage through her typically sardonic lesbian-orientated pieces, whilst coming across suitably spontaneous.  It's in our favour that she did not end up in her first career choice as hippy handmade leather bracelet seller, and instead brings dark humour with accompanying facial expressions and to-be-applauded unashamedly gay content.

This event is well paced, with a substantial line up and just the right amount of bar breaks, during which Maureen chats and mingles with the audience and checks on the vibe of the evening. Laughing Cows London is an excellent example of what happens when we give a platform to women comedians: laughter from angles not normally uncovered in stand up comedy.

Maureen also fundraises for the Helen Bamber foundation on the night and to date has raised over £15,000. 

By Katie

Home is where the Horse is

Tour Details: Nightlights tour around the UK

Further info on Horse: http://www.randan.org/

An eagerly awaited concert  at the very relaxed venue, Band on the Wall, Manchester on 28th November, 2013 did not fail to match expectations. In fact, it far surpassed  every expectation. I was also lucky enough to have had some interview questions answered by Horse prior to the concert. 

Horse is my favourite singer, so maybe I am a wee bit biased! However, after the concert, listening to comments from others, including some Horse ' virgins', my pleasure at spending the evening with this special singer, was definitely shared by all. 

Recently there was a competition run by the Horse team whereby the prize was to be the great singer herself coming to a private home/ venue to sing personally. I asked Horse who she would choose to entertain her in her own home and she chose Liz Fraser, a singers' singer. After the show on Thursday,  I was lucky enough to be able to chat to the winner of Horse's competition, Hazel. She has been a massive fan since her teens and wanted to share her love of the special music with her mum, Elizabeth. Horse's visit to her mum's house was a dream come true. Hazel,  a delightful mum of two, even played Horse music to help her through a difficult C section last year. 

The opening act for Horse in Manchester, Sam Dickinson, was enjoyable. When asked herself who she would like to be an opening act for if she could choose anyone, revealed the legendary Cindy Lauper. Now that would make for a night to remember. Let's hope Ms Lauper's agent reads this!

Throughout the evening, as always, the audience gains a connection with the great lady. She sings from the heart. She performed one beautiful cover song, Bring him Home which was followed by her own Home song. To me, they were perfect songs to sing back to back and complemented each other to perfection. Made me cry with those happy tears that come as a result of a singer reaching parts that others can't reach.

When I listen to the lyrics, I so often reflect on my own life and family connections. I valued Horse sharing the following after I asked her if there was anything in her life that she would  change.

She said, "Being a 'difficult' teen - my parents must have had a nightmare, but of course I know now what was wrong. I wish I had been able to be more insightful and direct my anger into a more creative energy."

As we approach Christmas, I hope that Horse has the perfect time that she wishes for herself.

'With  my wife - a tree, family, turkey all the trimmings, parlour games, a real fire, maybe a beach walk'.

Hopefully there might be a dream holiday to Santorini thrown in too - her perfect holiday reveal. She certainly deserves some quality time out with Alannah as she gives so much to us her fans. I cannot thank her enough for sharing her talent. Long may she do so!

Read our previous interview with Horse.

By Julie Cardwell

Lounge - the rebirth

Venue: Voltaire
Tickets: £5 in advance (if you could get one as it sold out prior to the event)
More info/future events: www.welovelounge.co.uk/

Following a 12 month break, Lounge has reinvented itself with the event called Rebirth, held Saturday 30th November. 

Although the glorious views over Leicester Square from the previous venue Penthouse were missed, the new venue has charms of its own [and was carefully selected by Christine to create a special atmosphere for guests]. 

Held at the Voltaire cigar bar at Blackfriars, the underground space gives Lounge the feeling of prohibition Speakeasy. The spell of virgin fruit juice was quickly broken, however, with our first expertly poured shooter. Two shots and two beers came to £28 which also reminded us that prices from the 1920s were a thing of the past.

Attendees were bombarded in the previous week with reminders that the event was sold out and no tickets would be sold on the door. Although I'm sure this is soberly rooted in important health and safety fire codes, the net effect was too much empty space till 10:30 or 11pm. We wondered if there was a way to better accommodate the predictable demographic of older gals attending from 9 till 12 and younger hotties from 11:30 to the close? It's such a shame to turn women away.

DJ Jane and the awesome DJs of the evening read the crowd well and kept people moving most of the night. The dance floor was captured circulation space which brought pros and cons. It was difficult to maneuver around the room but easy to stay in the party vibe.

Overall, what's not to love about Lounge? It's a great cross - section of our community. Thank you to all the organisers and I'm looking forward to the next one. 

Find out more about Lounge organiser Christine Townsend in our recent interview.

By Donna Pinto and Katie

LFestive - a Christmas Treat

Workshops with Kiki and lunch with the solos, songs from the singers like Promise, Eek and Beth, Spinning Planets, speed dating, comedy and Awards, these are a few of my favourite things!

Venue: Nightingales Birmingham
Tickets: £20

Halbwelt Kultur: entertaining queers then and now

Venue: Jermyn Street Theatre
Run: Tuesday 26 November - Sunday 15 December; Daily 9pm, weekends 5pm
Tickets: £10

Rating:






A unique production and narrative exploring an important and often invisible cultural period of pre-Nazi Berlin. 

These seven "Weimar Women" are the exemplification of the queer, experimental, progressive Halbwelt set. Some are household names, some less so, but all the stories equally important and representative of many of the journeys women will have chosen and be caught in during the 1920s and 30s in Germany, leading to choices for a few to leave as 1939 became too unstable to remain.

Photographer Katie Traynor

Telling this important story through a feminist lens, via mixed media vignettes of dance, movement, song, comedy and monologue, whilst staying true to the format it recognises - that it has to be women that present the story. Sketches play tribute to these real historical figures, with appreciation, critical analysis, gentle mocking at times, and a great deal of deserved respect.

The show begins with an opening number designed to set the tone for the evening. Although covering serious matter, fun and humour will pepper the content. There's a nod to other familiar styles, a striking resemblance to the Cell Block Tango initially for example. The players flow seamlessly between dance troupe and the characters they are playing, styles of dancing, fun and sombre, and elements of the cabaret of the period. 

Photographer Katie Traynor

Similarities in the positives and negatives of the Halbwelt and the openness of Germany have a striking, and harrowing relevance to the world today, not just London but echoes of issues in Russia, for example, or Nigeria are sadly all to familiar. 

Halbwelt Kultur is carefully structured, cleverly woven, beautifully re-enacted, both funny and haunting, thought provoking, saucy and just enjoyable.

Accompanied by contemporaneous, atmospheric live music, both joyful and sorrowful, gives the production an edge and extra depth reconfirming the authenticity of what the performance is trying to achieve. 

The show closed to whoops and cheers and cries of "encore".

By Katie

Planets and Stars - when we met Tracy Ryerson and Stamie K of 'The Real L Word'

The Candy Bar, a sunny Autumn Saturday afternoon, Planet London sits down with former reality stars Tracy Ryerson and Stamie Karakasidis.

We had the privilege of a lengthy chat with the lovely women, over from LA to meet fans at an event organised by Lionhead Events. 

Tracy and Stamie were very generous with the fans, and held an hour and a half long Q&A as well as holding a photo studio and signing photos and items for each guest individually. 

The Q&A was an open forum and fans had the chance to ask whatever was on their mind, discussions ranged from Hilary Clinton as the first female US President to the perils of starting a relationship on reality TV. Tracy and Stamie bantered away with each other and the fans, and proved funny, articulate and kind.

Ryerson and Stamie established www.ourfifteenminutes.com a blog site that allows them to continue the dialogue with all the fans and people they've met travelling all over the world. 

Listen to our hilarious and honest interview with the pair, right here http://bit.ly/1hrwYU7

And you can check out our photos: http://flic.kr/s/aHsjN41pzn

By Katie
 

Polari Literary Salon: 6th Birthday and the 2nd Polari First Book Prize Winner

Where: SouthBank
When: Monthly, 7.45pm
Tickets: £5
Info: www.polariliterarysalon.co.uk; www.facebook.com/groups/36989183143/

From humble beginnings in a bar in Soho, to the swanky Purcell Room at SouthBank, Polari, brainchild of, chaired and curated by Paul Burston, LGBT Editor at Time Out has come a long way and is still going from strength to strength on it's 6th Birthday. 

Described as the 'peerless' literary salon for LGBT writers, Polari regularly attracts the creme-de-la-creme of authors publishing LGBT content; poetry, novels and non fiction. Previous performers include Penny Arcade, Rikki Beadle-Blair, Andy Bell, Sophia Blackwell, DJ Connell, Maureen Duffy, Stella Duffy, Fenella Fielding, Lauren Henderson, Celine Hispiche, Celia Imrie,  VG Lee, Charlotte Mendelson, Molly Parkin, Bethan Roberts, Ali Smith, Helen Smith, Rosie Wilby and many more. 

Each month, LGBT queer literary sublime afficionados are treated to five writers giving readings or other kinds of performances from classic or new pieces. A must for anyone interested in celebrating and keeping up to date with the best of LGBT publishing. Polari is the quintessential one of a kind event that is much needed to help keep LGBT quality publishing alive.

As it's grown in popularity and success, Polari has had the opportunity to go beyond London with pop up events happening in Herts and next March in Hull.

This month, the guests, many of whom are loyal regulars, were treated to readings from Rosie Garland's Palace of Curiosities (published by Harper Collins in April); Patrick Flanery gave a sneak peek of a work in progress. Paul Burston emerges from behind the curtain to open, host and chair the evening, introducing each writer in turn.

Singer Dee Chanelle sang to help kick the birthdays into celebration, and posed the question about what resides in the space between fiction and reality. 

Following the interval, a great opportunity to network, drink wine and buy the books being read from, Helen Lederer introduced the upcoming prize announcement via a short but hilarious comic set.

The second act produced Dean Atta's performance poetry, and Charlotte Mendelson sharing a subtle lesbian moment with us. 

Then to the award announcement of the winner of the second Polari First Book Prize, and presentation of the £1000 cash prize. The award is sponsored by Societe-Generale's LGBT Network. 

The panel, which comprised

• Paul Burston (Chair of Judges) – author, journalist and host of Polari 
• Bidisha – writer, critic and broadcaster
• Suzi Feay – literary critic
• Rachel Holmes – author and former Head of Literature at the Southbank Centre
• VG Lee – author and comedian
• Joe Storey-Scott – books buyer

The Murder Wall by Mari Hannah. The Murder Wall is the first in a new series of crime fiction featuring DCI Kate Daniels.

VG Lee, panelist, speaking to me just before the event, told me that the Award worked hard in its second year to encourage more women to submit publications for consideration. Following criticism of the lack of women on the shortlist in the first year, an outreach programme succeeded in generating 60% of entries from women. The quality of these submissions is reflected in the shortlist that contained three entries by women, and of course a female winner. 

We will shortly be speaking to Mari Hannah about what winning the prize will mean for her and her writing.

By Katie

"Let the Skyfall" Jade Ellis @ The Candy Bar

Venue: Candy Bar

Date: Friday 8 November

We chatted with the delightful Jade Ellis before her half hour set at Candy Bar. Jade was an X-Factor finalist in 2012. Since leaving the ITV show, she has been working on her music and this year has taken the plunge to establish herself as an artist. 

Jade says she's been "gigging, gigging, gigging" up and down the country. She's recently been supporting Cover Drive on tour, and has learned a lot about music, performing and fan relationships and dedication - "those fans that will travel from one show to another just to see their favourite band". 

However the highlight of the year for Jade has been the opportunity to spend much more quality time with her daughter Caiden, of whom she is clearly very proud. Caiden has kept Jade company on the road and has been enjoying the high life of hotels and travel.

As well as learning the guitar, Jade has been working with writers and producers to develop her own musical sound. She's settled on R'n'B as a style, which she feels is "organic" and reflects back to more old school "lyrics, voice and simple music"... but remaining flexible to different styles. 

Jill Scott is a huge musical influence to Jade, who is someone that as an artist comes from their "voice and aura", she says, "Jill could play even if the electrics failed, even if there were no lights... she would still be able to stand on stage and mesmerise."

Jade has been co-writing with Sammy Nathan and really enjoys the collaborative process of writing with a partner and how that can bring out the best in an song. And yes, co-writing does mean that we will soon be treated to original material being released. 

We asked Jade if she has any messages for her lesbian fans, and she says simply "Thank you", she genuinely appreciates all the messages of support she gets. She also contributed her coming out story to the Diversity Role Model's "It's Okay to Be Gay" collection as she was keen to show there are positive stories as well as the challenges people face. 

We had a chance to cover the frivolous too. When asked what kind of biscuit she would be, Jade cheekily chose a certain cookie well known for being lickable... and proclaimed her favourite hairstyle of the year was that pink locks that accessorised the pink outfit on The X Factor (Ed's note: good choice) - she says "The hair has to match the outfit".

And to the gig... the first two numbers were acoustic, with Jade playing guitar and singing to a crowd of young lesbians that had been building steadily over the course of evening. A medley of contemporary pop songs followed by an original number relating to her recent break up from her long term partner.

Her voice resonates throughout the Candy basement, powerfully smooth soulful vocals with a devastating range - from deep to high. 

R'n'B-Acousto stylings of I need you (re-rendered from that X Factor audition, and Naughty Boy's La la la complemented the powerhouse version of Amy Winehouse's Love is a Losing Game sung with a secret smile, and the stand out surprise, an exhilarating urban take on Adele's Skyfall that stopped the show.

Ellis is fan of the intimate venue, that Candy offers, and enjoys being able to "connect with the audience", and convey the emotions of songs directly to the crowd. 

To find out what's happening next and stay in touch with Jade, follow her Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/OfficialJadeEllis. New music is coming soon, she promises.

By Katie

Web series review: 'Roomies' & 'The Neighbors' from Tello

"Just good friends..."

Available: http://www.onemorelesbian.com/tello/webseries/roomies/; Roomies is available via subscription, but The Neighbors is free
Date: 2013

Published earlier this year by Tello, Roomies is the web series comedy that offers laughs a-plenty encased in slick production. There are characters you'll recognise brought out in their comic best. In particular, standing out is Julie Goldman's portryal of the recently heartbroken Sam who allows herself to become embroiled in a case of fake relationship to secure a great place to live whilst reconnecting with her "straight" best friend.

Full of dramatic and comedic irony, secrets and secret crushes, and the annoyingly hot over-sexed girls next door - and a mixture of physical and dialogue comedy - this series offers great escapism and good laughs. The attention to detail is also worth a note - check out the posters outside The Parlour - and gives this series the feel of real professionalism as well as content that's been made specifically for our community. 

This first series was put together in record time as Brandy and Julie were hot off the set of their reality series Gay Street Therapy. Christin Mell, director and producer of Roomies and The Neighbors says it al came together with great success due to "Magic!  This might sound crazy but everything just worked.  It was very fast but everything hit at the right time and we knew this was meant to be."

Well magic and fantastic production team, "we have quality writing and quality productions because I have an amazing team.  The Finks (Jessica and Julie) are amazing writers and we have a great crew who enjoys working with us and who we trust.  When you have a team like that you trust them and know that quality content is expected no matter how quickly things come together".

It was not a difficult transition moving from unscripted to scripted series for Howard and Goldman. Howard says "We have both done scripted content many times before, but we had never done it together, so we had absolutely no idea what to expect.  For me, I thought I would be intimidated because Julie is so funny and she's an incredible comedic actress with TONS of sketch experience for her TV Show (Big Gay Sketch Show on LOGO).  But, the Finks wrote such a tight script with tons of great character development, that it actually just all felt organic and fell into place.  As a director, Christin allowed us to improv and have fun with each scene, and we really took advantage of that.  Julie and I were so thankful to get to experience a working environment like Curb Your Enthusiasm or a Christopher Guest film.  The story was there and the characters were there, and in that framework, we were really free to add things and improv when we wanted to.

The bonus spin-off The Neighbors was not planned initially. It came about following casting, and there were two actors who weren't quite right for roles, but who Mell and The Finks felt that they could write something for directly. Mell says "We always love trying to do something for free and so we came up with The Neighbors.  I'm not really sure who had the idea we just built off of each other.  I really loved the idea of these fun and funny neighbors.  We were able to work the shots into the schedule so we shot The Neighbors when we shot Roomies."

Mell also announced that there will be a season 2.  She said "We want to continue to develop this.  It is being written right now and we hope to go into production in early 2014." Something to look out for, for sure!

You can votes for Roomies as best Web series in the Ultimate Planet Awards, until 30 November here http://bit.ly/UltAwards

By Katie