Book review: Unexpected Pleasures – Tamsin Wilton

Many people were shocked when Cynthia Nixon claimed to have had a ’choice’ over her sexuality when she met Christine Marinoni.  Accusations flew between those who felt she must have always been bisexual and those who believed choice was more credible than biology.  Yet the notion of same-sex relationships as a ‘choice’ wasn’t a new one in 2012, it wasn’t even new in 2002 when this book was published.  The possibility that some lesbians were born while others were made, has been with us since feminism first allowed female sexual autonomy.

Tamsin Wilton is a woman who came out later in life.  Hitting her mid 30’s she felt she made the choice to become a lesbian, only to discover this was not a popular view.  Wanting to talk to other late bloomers like herself she placed an advert in Diva, from which she expected to receive possibly a dozen replies.  Instead she received 40 in a day, with more coming in the weeks that followed.  Realising she had hit a nerve, Tamsin interviewed hundreds of women from all over the country and beyond, eventually creating Unexpected Pleasures out of their stories.  Many had resisted being gay until they were unable to fight it any longer; some had never guessed they were gay until the day they fell in love; and some, like Tamsin, felt that given a choice they had chosen women.

This is not a book of science, as the author admits she is dubious about any biological explanation for homosexuality.  Instead this is a book about experiences, the experience of coming out as a woman who loves women, at a time when you were supposed to be settled into heterosexual family life.  Unexpected Pleasures is interesting just for highlighting those experiences, and would be invaluable for any woman who unexpectedly found herself bursting out of the closet later in life.

Review by Ida Raine