Tickets: from £12
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| Susan Calman and Katie Bennett-Hall |
According to the publicity
material, Susan Calman’s show “This Lady’s Not For Turning Either”, is about
growing up gay in Scotland in the 1980s. Is it b*llocks. This show is an
extended heartfelt plea for equal marriage rights in the 2010s. It’s also very,
very funny.
Things I have learned about
Civil Partnerships thanks to Susan Calman are: you are not allowed to mention
the word marriage at any point during the ceremony so that’s The Proclaimers
song “Let’s Get Married” and Pam Ayer’s poem, “I’ll Marry You” banned but
coming down the aisle to the “Darth Vader Death March” from “Star Wars” is
highly acceptable. Your mother will insist on mustard spoons being added to the
wedding list even though you have never had anyone round to dinner in the last
nine years. This is because “people will look at your list and judge you. If
you have condiment cutlery on the list they will think you are better than you
are.” Sandi Toksvig bought them! If you want to wear tweed at your wedding go
to Brewer’s in Perth where the clientelle is made up entirely of lesbians and
horsey types and never the twain shall meet although where that leaves our own
Clare Balding was never explained!
Apart from this not being a
marriage or anything Susan has a list. A list of eight reasons Lee Cormack, her
partner of the last nine years, should never ever want to marry her; how,
thanks to a school girl crush on Stephanie Powers in “Hart to Hart” she now
knows that should you ever be trapped in air tight glass box, use the massive
diamond ring your loving partner recently gave you to cut your way to freedom
and safety (Cue Susan waggling a diamond encrusted ring the size of Gibraltar
courtesy of Lee Cormack.); the cats, (Including dressing the cats up, skyping
the cats from London and being known locally as ‘the mad cat lady’.); why Susan
should be president and biting her own toe nails. The point of the list? If somebody wants to
marry me that badly surely they should be allowed to. She’s got a point with the toe nails.
In the closing minutes of
the show Susan commented that she would also like to travel at the front of the
bus. For a moment I nearly missed the
reference, on December 1st 1955 in Montgomery, Alabama Rosa Parks
refused the bus driver’s instruction to move from where she was to make space
for a white passenger, sparking the American Civil Rights movement. It’s a civil rights issue pure and
simple. This is stand up which wears its
heart unusually loudly on its sleeve.
Go, you will have a fab
evening and if you end the night by clicking below and signing Peter Tatchell’s
petition to Maria Miller, Secretary of State for Secretary of State for
Culture, Media and Sport thank you from Susan Calman, Lee Cormack and thousands
of shuttered hearts.
Peter Tatchell’s suggested petition to Maria Miller is at
http://www.petertatchellfoundation.org/partnerships/lobby-equalities-minister-full-equality
Susan Calman is at the Soho Theatre, until Saturday 24th
November www.sohotheatre.com
Review by Laura
Read our interview with Susan on our features blog
Review by Laura
Read our interview with Susan on our features blog

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