Event: The Most Cake Salon

Date: Tuesday 24 September

Time: 7.30pm

Talk Subject: Small Town Gay Scenes

Cost: £2

Location: Vogue Fabrics, 66 Stoke Newington High Street, N16 7XB
Hosted by: Anna from The Most Cake

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Billed as an alternative TED talk (like TED Talks but with more lesbians) we were quite intrigued to see what The Most Cake had to offer. In addition, the subject was quite interesting as we feature London but have recently been looking to see how we can support the outskirts of London as well as London itself.

So we clicked join on Facebook, put it in the diary and looked up the venue. On the surface, Vogue Fabrics seemed a strange location for a talk, however the venue had arranged a good set up with a mic at the front and bench style seating. And to be honest, however much we hate it, as lesbians in London we're quite used to being in the basement!

Anna introduced the event and each of the speakers in turn.

It wasn't quite what we were expecting, I had expected because in my head I had thought it would be people who were currently outside of London speaking about their experiences recently, when in reality it was experiences growing up anywhere from 2 to 20 years ago. I guess that wasn't a surprise given that if you still lived outside of the M25 it would be quite difficult to get to Stoke Newington after work on a weekday and to get home after would take hours. More thought on my part would have prepared me more.

We heard from a great variety of speakers from a number of locations both in the UK and further afield:

• A circus like Great Yarmouth in 1994 featuring lesbian scene mullets in a pretty tolerant town of misfits.
• Niagara Falls, New York in 1992 when the Internet was something you queued an hour for and was still green writing on a black screen.
• St Louis in the mid west where gay men and women didn't mix yet they all had the same haircut and the no.1 sports bar was also the no.1 lesbian bar.
• Brisbane, Australia where the young lesbians went clubbing and the older lesbians lived in the west end.
• Hull was an interesting subject, more so because the speaker was extremely funny in her delivery. With stories of guys who were not friends of Dorothy gay but more the turned gay in prison and being set up with a policewoman without knowing and ending the date being threatened with arrest had us all laughing and picturing quite a scene.
• Tamworth was another interesting talk, explaining more how the scene was hidden within a different group and where people supported each other in becoming themselves. At the time each thinking that they were being supported by a friend but years later realising it was more of a scrum with everyone supporting each other.
• Coventry in 2008 was a quiet lesbian scene that consisted of the bus from the uni campus to Rainbows.
• Bournemouth in 2012 talked of angry, drunk straight people combining St Patricks Day with the usual hen and stag dos and lesbians in head to toe denim.
• Denver told a tale of cowboy hats and check shirts dancing the two step and squashing a motorbike into a four by four in order to impress a girl.
• County Durham talked not only of the scene for gay and lesbians, but also for growing up trans and experiences of being banned from seeing a girl and lingerie shopping in Newcastle
• Colchester told a story of a week in Brighton for Pride where a friend went missing and eventually turned up with 'a magical goblin' under the stairs who turned out to be a small person he had kidnapped whilst hight. The guy was arrested and sent to Pentonville Prison. Whether it was true or not, it was a fantastic end talk and a stark reminder that drugs can be a dark passenger, and that the challenges of living in a small gay scene creates a 'kid in a candystore' scenario when visiting gay hubs.

Throughout all of the talks, however different the scene, and the year, and the country there were however some common themes. Whilst each experience was only one individual's experience, the overall talk was interesting to hear how those experiences shaped the individual. 

Many scenes in smaller towns experienced joining another friendship group in which to blossom. Somewhere accepting of many walks of lives. Be it a book group at school, the local goth group or a group who hang around at the band stand. Young gay people in small towns with little or no gay scene find ways to survive and grow. Ultimately however they leave those towns and seek solace in a larger scene where they can be openly themselves.

The Coventry talk was particularly interesting because Katie had her own experiences of Rainbows having also gone to uni there some 6 years earlier. The contrast in experiences showed that town scenes can change year on year and that whilst these experiences were interesting to hear, they are only a snapshot of an ever changing and morphing environment, like seasons. The only way to truly understand how a scene is now is to be in it, and personally I'm kind of glad to be in the big City where I can be myself and would rather not return to the small town where I would once again be a minority.

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This was the first salon that The Most Cake has held, however indications are that more will follow. Anna closed by asking for suggestions for future talks. Suggestions can be emailed to contact@themostcake.co.uk.

Event Link: https://www.facebook.com/events/532651066823300/
The Most Cake website: www.themostcake.co.uk